Hope you can google this Robert. This picture made me crack up for a full minute.
 

Random obsessions:
That guy in the video from my last entry, Mike Song from Kaba Modern,  he makes me proud to be a Korean.

If I was born a boy, I think I'd definitely want to be this guy. I mean, is it possible to be any cooler? (That was a rhetorical question, I'm not looking for answers here.)


I have random urges to run away and go to California. Muahaha~ Mom should have invested in these kinds of lessons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFkPZaYZqno    not violin lessons! -_-






Not so random honesty (long and BORING):
In the past few months I've been seeing a different side of myself, that I haven't experienced since my turmoiled middle school days. Maybe it's just a manifestation of the sin that's always been in my heart, but I guess personally it's been humbling/disturbing to find myself with much less patience, more bitterness/annoyance, self-sensitivity, insecurity, and a judging attitude than I thought I ever had in myself. Granted right now it's a lot better than before, (or else I probably wouldn't be writing about it) but I can see remnants of the ugliness still. It's not just those outward passive signs of annoyance that reveal it, but it was more my own harsh thought processes, and bursts of emotional anger I can feel inside myself. So yeah, it doesn't always show externally, but internally I need some cleaning up.

I don't know if you ever heard of the song by dc Talk, but some of the lyrics go, "What if I stumble? What if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?" I have that fear a lot, just making Christians look bad because I lose my patience, or I'm lazy about something, or I don't do the most morally right thing in a certain situation. I guess it comes from past experiences of some people who were Christians who took advantage of my family and really hurt me emotionally or my family members/ friends (which coincidently made me PO haha I'm not used to being abbreviating that). So the last thing I would want to be is another "Christian hypocrite" who doesn't practice what they preach, so I don't really go proclaiming my faith to Muslims telling them why they should be Christians, because why in the WORLD would they want to be like me?   My life as a Christian is very far from being a piece of cake, and I'm still a major sinner.

A change of thought: Does the reputation of what I believe in, lie on my shoulders through my behavior? Speaking from a mainly concrete point of view, if people were truly searching for "truth" why would my behavior as a Christian deter people from coming to the faith?
-Paul Brand, now a world famous hand surgeon, had a suspicion that the reason leprous patients were losing their limbs was not because of "bad skin" as previously believed, but was because of their lack of the feeling of pain to which the patients would unknowingly wear out the limbs from poor use, resulting in limbs that were "mysteriously" shrinking. Yet Brand was no specialist in leprosy, and had only a few years of experience with the disease compared to his colleagues. Paul knew the truth, and no matter how inexperienced he was with the disease, his background, or who he was didn't change that fact.
-In Christianity, when it comes to outer fruit, it's understood that something should definitely be visible in the form of peace, patience, kindness, goodness, etc. But if a professed Christian does not exemplify these characteristics, will that automatically negate the Christian beliefs? What if that person just has a really bad relationship with God, and is an immature Christian? "I've heard of pastors who have cheated and left their wives, that doesn't sound like very Christian behavior.... "  Being a pastor is a process where seminaries choose the students who under their discretion they believe will be great spiritual leaders in the future. But the committee is human, they can only judge spiritual character to the best of their ability. Every year, medical schools weed out thousands of applicants to choose the best candidates who they think will be the best doctors, and yet everyone knows there are horrible doctors out there who either have bad bedside manners, or make very preventable mistakes.
    +  The bible doesn't really shy away from God-fearing people who have made some very very bad mistakes. Take our big "failure" David. A man after God's own heart, how could he have an affair with one of his most loyal soldiers? and then send the soldier out to the battlefield to purposely kill him because he found out he impregnated his wife? We know non-Christians can do better than that. But it wasn't about David. It was about a God that was behind this sinful David, knowing to discipline David for his sin so that it didn't go unpunished, and yet supporting this sinful man because this man loved God as best a human could. Nothing David did despite his reputation as a man after God's own heart, could tarnish the the truth of who God is, what His character was, or even the fact He existed in the first place.

Every organization has outliers. All muslims are not extremists, terrorists. All mormans do not believe in polygamy. All asians are not going to have this urge to shoot people in their college campus. In addition, it would be a bit unfair to constantly generalize a group just because one found certain stereotypes to be true. Everyone has a map of how they view the world, and in the beginning it's understandable to rely on stereotypes that we've attained, but I believe that gradually as we mature and get to know more people, we shouldn't resort to elementary stereotypes such as "Most asians are stingy," or "Disabled people are stupid," but rather understand the context and culture of each group to have a more accurate map of how we view the world. Some asians prefer to be more frugal with their spending because they understand what it's like not to grow up with much, so they make the best with what they got, and at it's extreme it may be seen as stingy. Disabled people are not stupid, but because they lack specific cognitive abilities may be seen by some as stupid.
2. Correlation does not equal causation. A significant number of Christians in America are hypocrites, and a lot of people who aren't Christian are not hypocrites. Why? Is it because Christianity is a big sham that's not worth anything? On the flip side, Christianity acknowledges a set of moral rules which NOT only deal with the outer behavior of a person, but the way we even think! A person with no religious beliefs has a whole lot less to "prove" than a Christian, therefore statistically speaking, what are the chances of a Christian being a hypocrite, vs. a person with no religious beliefs? Additionally, I'd say Christianity is considered pretty mainstream in the U.S. We have a very significant church going population. Hip hop dance is considered pretty mainstream right now, a lot of people are "big fans" but how many of them really know smack about real hip hop dance? I'm a "big fan" of hip hop but I don't know how to do hip hop dance, I don't even know how ANYthing about it, except for the pop and lock. (Haha people aren't gonna take this entry seriously now. )


So for a temporary conclusion until the next time,  essentially I really shouldn't have to worry whether people will interpret my imperfections as proof that man those Christians are real hypocrites to non-Christians, because it shouldn't matter. Then why am I still worrying? Because I know there are always people that will base the validity of what I believe in, on how I live my life. -_-

:note: What I just wrote was a disorganized blob of information, but it was just my train of thought. I don't claim to be an expert or pro on this subject in any way.